Lower Providence Aikido

If it was your decision not to learn kung fu, too sweaty, too hard, maybe you should reconsider. This world is going totally nuts, and I mean in our own safe, little towns. Here are seven cases of people who have gone looney, and they are the total argument for learning self defense.

Two girls didn't like the way some fry cook was taking their McNuggets order at their McDonalds restaurant, so they jumped over the counter and went after him. He decided to pick up an iron bar and proceeded to give them a little of their own medicine. McDonalds should have included Karate or Kung Fu lessons in their training!

Young people aren't the only ones showing the dark side of their brains, because a sixty year old woman stabbed her boyfriend numerous times. She was totally positive he was cheating at their Monopoly game! Do not pass go, do not collect $200...and it's too bad her boyfriend didn't know a little Savate or Defendo!

Some people say Americans have too much protein in their diet, and maybe that is true. Consider the case of the fellow in Georgia who actually firebombed a Taco Bell because they didn't put enough meat in his Chalupa. Maybe if he had taken some judo or karate lessons when he was young he would have had a little more self control.

Have those government bureaucrats ever enraged you? Don't get angry because in Cleveland a 49 year old man had to go to the emergency room because a poll monitor for the Cuyahoga County Board of Elections tried to bite his nose clean off his face! That's one solid citizen who wished he knew a little Kenpo or Taekwondo or one of those martial arts.

I don't know how much Kenpo Karate or Aikido would have helped this pair of oldsters in Washington state. A 31 year old man who was living in the woods decided to attack the oldsters with a bow and arrow and a hatchet. He killed the man, left the woman for dead, and went on his merry way.

Of course, one could argue that meds is the answer, not martial arts lessons...and they'd be wrong. One out of every twelve Americans is now on prescription drugs, and people are not getting any more peaceful. Actually, when a violent crime happens, often the first question the police will pose is whether the criminal had stopped taking his Prozac!

Last in this weird hit parade is the instance of the 18 year old man who met a girl on the internet and journeyed from Arizona to Wisconsin to get together with her. Once in Wisconsin she and a friend held him captive and slashed him more than 300 times as part of a Satanic sex ritual. That's one cross country traveler who definitely wishes he could learn kung fu.