Lower Providence Aikido

That a Martial Arts Tattoo could indicate who would win an MMA match is nothing short of surprising. Yet, it seems to be the fact. To be sure, this is a quite unscientific survey, yet the results seem to be fairly predictable.

The project first began a couple of weeks ago, when this martial artist/writer was spending an exciting night in front of the television. Exciting, because it was man to man contests of the most brutal nature: the mayhem and mania of grown men bashing each other to bloody pulps. At some point during this affair the idea was entertained: do martial artists with tattoos adorning their bodies win more, or lose more?

A balance sheet was kept, results were tallied, and the results gave a decided advantage to the uninked ones being more victorious. Mind you, there was some confusion to be sorted out. After all, the bodies being tallied had to be compared for tattoos.

Two fighters had designs swirling across their gleaming muscles. Which artwork used more ink? Which design covered more actual flesh?

Regardless of proportion of design to skin, the martial arts fighters with less ink were coming out on top more times than their inkier brethren. The actual figure was around 75 per cent. These statistics held true for later analysis, perhaps favoring the superiority of unmarked Mixed Martial Artists even more.

One factor that was of interest, but proved too difficult to keep track of was whether the type of tattoo had any effect on the proportions. The speed of the matches, the motion of the fighters, it was difficult to tell whether the contestants had a Karate tattoo, or a Bruce Lee Tattoo. The only specific tat noticed by this author was in conjunction with a victory by a Latin fighter with Heysoos emblazoned across his body.

And we are left with this question: why would a tattoo make a difference in an MMA fight? Various ideas were analyzed and rejected, theories having to do with the amount of ink having an adverse effect on the 'breathing' of the body. Or whether ink could have an effect on the speed and strength of the gladiator.

In the end, no theory held for all the facts, one could only reach the conclusion that fighters who cared more about image were not as concerned with punching power. That fighters who cared about how they looked, were not as serious about building the unique fighting willpower that is crucial to the successful gladiator. That a Martial Arts tattoo could very well weaken the fighting spirit of a man.